Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Round and About at DHL

Just found this piece that I had written whilst undergoing my induction as a management trainee at DHL in July 1996.It was a batch of 25 management trainees from various management colleges and I think only one of them is still with DHL(long service award !!). I am in touch with some of them and would be great to know how the others are doing.

Round and About at DHL
( with apologies to Busybee)

And after 9 days of Classroom induction, a few stray thoughts and a few general observations and a few points of view (not all my own work)

Like in the past nine days we have had a great learning experience from all the wonderful people at DHL, that we have started walking, talking, eating and sleeping DHL

Like all the DHL jargon and terminology have got so much entrenched into everybody’s head that ‘Pick-up. Delivery, Transit-time, Shipments, Hubs, Spokes, Gateways, Pre-Alert, Pre-Advice, Documents, Parcels have become a part and parcel (see what I mean) of everybody’s normal conversation. Poor Chetan, vowing not to think about DHL almost jumped of the train when he saw DHL – On Time Everytime written all over next to the Pearl Centre advertisement.

Like in addition to the learning experience, we have had some good entertainment, especially from the IT guys.

Like some of the questions thrown up by us (Management Trainees) were very intelligent and interesting and need to be patented

Like for example, some of us ask questions in 2 parts (part A and Part B) and some in three (Good, Bad and Ugly) and maybe today someone would move on to asking in four.

Like one of the prize patented question’s is ‘Is OBC – Over Board Courier or Over Bored Courier’ and no prizes for guessing whose patent it is.

Like one of us was taking Customer delight too far when he wanted to know if we tell the Customer which flight (route, flt-no., stop-overs etc) his DOX/WPX/HWP/DOM is going by. Some Smart Alec added that in addition to all this information we also tell the Customer the Name of the OBC, if he is Veg/N.Veg, Smoking/Non-Smoking and if he has a window seat.

Like Munnawar spontaneously exclaimed loudly “ Look Grace is going with Disgrace” when he noticed that Grace and I were going for pick-ups with the same courier

Like for a long time now, we have had two pairs of Siamese twins, again no prizes for guessing who.

Like I wonder if every body knows that we have a Limca Book Of Records holder in our midst, for the longest name in Sai and though I have heard it several times I still cannot remember it, so prizes for repeating it correctly (with the right accent)

Like Surekha must be really feeling at home (Kashmir), for not only does she wear a blue sweater in our chhhhhiiiiiiiiily seminar room, but also goes around terrorizing people

Like one thing we would really miss after today would be the multi-course, multi-cuisine lunches the tea and biscuits (especially Bourbon) from the ever-smiling Satish.

Like every time I ask Rita as to where she is staying she comes up with a different answer, I guess proving how difficult it is to get acco in Mumbai.

Like we have learnt many abbreviations from people out here ……..QGM – Quick Gun Murugan, GEMSA – generally Engaged In Manufacturing Silly Appliances, HITC-FITC – Head In The Clouds-Feet In The Clouds, MBA – Masters Of Bullshitting Arts.

Like one good example of an OBC(on board courier) would be Nandini………to and fro from Bangalore. Though I don’t know if she is Over-Board or Over-Bored.

And this final point of view, Hats Off to Rajesh for being so patient with characters like us, being such a good trainer and I am sure he would be for the whole of next year.

1 comment:

Pareshaan said...

Came here to read Mumbai names thanks to the links on Mr. d'souza's blog. Ended up reading everything from why Vile Parle is called such to how to make Sol Kadhi - Great blog.